I used to believe in silly things, like
Wishing on stars
Dreams come true
Together forever

I used to believe in silly things, like
Unbridled passion
Hearts beating as one
Souls intertwining

I used to believe in silly things, like
Happiness
Ecstasy
Fulfillment
Joy

I used to believe in silly things....
Looking at the world through rose colored glasses
Believing what I felt,
Instead of that I saw

I used to believe in silly things......

I used to believe in love

your eyes
told me of your gentleness
your hands
told me of your warmth
your voice
the compassion and love in your heart
your kiss
a moment in your soul

your silence
a stranger
eyes refusing to open
hands unwilling to reach out
heart unforgiving
voice silent
a man without a soul

Age magnifies our scope
multiplying interest by
dividing experience
nudging aspiration
stretching and
extending our  vision

Windows of my spirit open
brush away the sands of night,
wean me from each threatening notion,
paint me with the brightest light.

Keep my landscapes ever flooded
with elixir hope-embued,
so that all my actions
brim with happy faith renewed.

Let the scent of hope surround me
undisturbed by tides of doubt,
acrid fangs of fear receding
joy becomes my waterspout.

Modest jelly fish transparent blushes -
discovered by children curious,
to cover her embarrassment
she stings them on their ambushes

There’s a spirit among us.

It rules
but it is weak.

It does right
at the same time doing wrong.

It teaches
and we disobey.

It loves
and we hate.

It feeds us but we still starve.

It’s the spirit of our mind and soul.

Where do we go from here?
It’s not that easy yet it’s not quite hard.
The world is spinning as fast as my head.
Where do we go from here?
 

Long chats for hours and days on end.
Now just an occasional glance
Glances filled with pain. No hello.
No goodbye. Where do we got from here?
 

I hope and I pray
for things to stay the same
not stray.
I go with the flow that’s not flowing.
Where do we go from here?

I am Gilligan
Overturned breakfast bowl sailor cap
Pratfall head hunter bait for your amusement
in livid black and white
A cathode coated clown
Riding on the waves of canned laughter
Lapping onto the lagoon of collective
Consensual
Semi consciousness
I gather coconuts
My sea legs pump the pedals
Of the bicycle
That powers the radio
I sing Hamlet's soliloquy
Accompanied by bamboo geared victrola
I find EVERYTHING
Magician's trunks
 Japanese soldiers
Space capsules
 And radioactive stuff
I am Gilligan
This is my island
I am your little buddy

I am Gilligan
Prince of tides seated beneath a palm tree
Golden husk perfectly cleaved
By a Newtonian skull shattering free fall
One half lay at my feet
One half flows upstream
Tug boating me along in a dream
And as I sleep beneath the tree
A trained gorilla in a tu tu falls in love with me
But I do not leave
Mrs. Howell Mary Ann and Ginger plead
Hurricanes rage I am struck by lightening
Meteors drop into my lap
Yet I remain solid
Resting on one arm
Immovable
Speechless
Clueless

I am Gilligan
Leather facing the facts at the boat show
Rescued from any body of water near the shopping center
Thirty some years a caste away
thirty years
The skipper's dead
Luvy's dead
Mr. Magoo
Dead
And I vaguely recall Maynard
That swinging Dharma hep cat
And even Dobie became president of CBS
At least I'm not selling Bibles on late night TV
Yet

I am Gilligan
Here on Gilligan's Isle

Post midnight afternoon crash induced
Insomniac
I take to the streets on the back
Of a K9
Summertime
Mug moist impersonation of a breeze

Rooftop perched
Chicken cooped
Air conditioners
And their thermostatically controlled
On
Off
Clicking
Well they add punctuation to the steam whistle August serenades
Of their window wedged compatriots
Sidewalk ozone crack seeking
Freon drippings
A valve sick 76 Olds 88
Tap dances by a boom boom boom box
Pizza joint smoking concrete concerto
Where
Ice cold Mogen David Orange melts
And slides into 20/20 night train visions
Everyone and everything moves
 Everyone and everything moves
  Everyone and everything moves
Just like
Night time
'Cause it is

And I wonder
What the guy on second shift is doing To my machine

At least I had enough sense to lock my floating
Flambeu tackle box
While I wishbone straddle balanced on the edge
Of the canoe
Jack Nicholson ax swinging the oar above my head
In a futile attempt to dislodge the lure
That my ex brother in law had fed the Catalpa tree
Leafs and twigs rain onto the water's surface
Concentric circles outlining their landings
Swelling
Enveloping each other in Japanese sand garden
Rake patterns
An animated Tibetan meditation icon
A hydraulic mandala if you will
Whose hypnotic grasp is broken only
By the splash
Of a 190 pound six foot tall male
Which happens to be me.

The evening sky rolls by in a hard banking turn
As the boat obeys the laws of Newton
back slamming me beneath the surface
To discover the  true absorbency of my flannel shirt
And the exact depth of the silt
On the pond's bottom
The electric thrill of sudden oxygen deprivation
Races the water that fills my eyes ears and throat
And my father is holding me under the pool
In the back yard
And it's not funny any more
I really can't breath
And it's NOT FUNNY ANYMORE
Till finally my shadow bursts from the murky water
And coughing like a seal off the coast of Alcatraz
I  wet dog wade to shore
Only to discover
I don't have my glasses anymore

Everything's fuzzy
All the sharp edges
the coloring book outlines drop away
like the scales from Saul turned Paul's eyes
I've crawled from a primordial soup into
An impressionistic world
While a large mouth bass starts his life anew
A freshwater Mr. Limpet
Warning his cohorts that...
Hey hey buddy that's just a lure
But
I don't know the difference anymore
Cause everything is soft
Everything is safe
A foam rubber landscape
Automobile headlights become fire flies
And the bathroom tiles are alive
And I realize
that Salvador Dali
Was a photographer

At least I had enough sense to lock my tackle box
And nowadays
You can get glasses in an hour

Serenity comes with each rising sun
With darkness, ends another day
Listening to the voice within
Looking towards the light begins

As moments build, a sadness falls
As triumphs mount and losses fail
The need to be heard
As still as the nesting bird

The task at hand is carefully paced
Routine may change, but the end is clear
Motions proceed like a clock tells time
When all is done, the voice is mine

All the days go by, it seems
So little being said today
A call comes in to listen to
Another sadness, a dream of you

Life goes on without a promise
And follow the heart with blindness
For tomorrow brings another rise
With the thought of more tranquil cries

So as the wound begins to open
The void will surely pain its way
Closure comes as slow as sure
The scar just shows the final cure

With healing comes the thought again
Of a time when song filled the heart
When the quiet bird begins to say
"What another beautiful day"

Like the clock will someday chime
Another dream is on its way
The thoughts again that fill the air
Of a day when all that's left...to care

So the winds of life have passed me by
The tears well inside a smile
Missing you quiets the skys again
The darkness says, "good bye, old friend"

The rains have come
And dimmed the light
We sit in silence
For one more night.

A ray of sun
Can keep us warm
But missing you
Through a storm...

Dampens the thought
Of sunny days
Missing your touch
In so many ways.

Rains that make
Life go on
Can sadden even
The passion song.

For when I cannot
Shelter you
There's just one thing
That I can do...

To write these words
For you, my sweet,
To let you know
My love runs deep.

No matter how much
Rain should fall
When I'm alone
Your name I call.

So, know that when
It rains for me
You're in my heart
I am protecting thee.

The keys toothed wards turn
The door locks shut

Outside, allotment of winter
Beech leaves smoke a bonfire tang
The warmth of spent breath

At low tide
The smell of mortal sickness
Mesh of nets
Humped against a wall
The beach's broken ikons of war
Savagely rusting

Show me a starfish
apricot limbs open
forsaken grace on the shore

I shall cradle the image
Set it
A wedding ring
for the waves

 ascetic chin on riven chest
 no wrinkles crinkling her eyes
 the skin stretched over her bones

 Chill stole through us

 The memory resuscitates
 sundried colour thorns

 I hid among the stones
 earth wiped on my cheeks
 the inkling of her
 wet dead mouth on mine ...

 Time climbs its lattice of pain
 The window does not mist

 behind the bamboo curtain
 her face puffy
 her hair a fright

 comb held in two tweaked fingers
  unsteady
 She mascaras
 lipsticks pouts

 The chipped mirror looks at her hard
 Up and down

 her bangle is coloured cotton forget-me-nots

 It will rise a hurt red fruit inside her thigh
 An ash tidemark in her head
 It will not fade
 The bruise

 That night the house is numb
 Over the agony of their meal
 The left stained plates
 The cold fury as he climbs in
 
 She, silently weeping woman
 her cheek shudders hate shame

When I talk to the man sitting in my head
  He often complains about the worm
Who eats away at my memories
  And makes it difficult for me to learn

So I tell the man to do what he can
  But there's no way I can call for help
'Cause the worm is crawling 'round inside my head
  Yet he cannot be seen or be felt

Then one night as I fell asleep
  An alarm went off inside my head
The worm had attacked the little man
  And now I'm sure that the man is dead

But I cry not for the little man
  'Cause I never knew him all that well
Instead I laugh at the worm inside
  'Cause the little man controlled my health

Now I lie here in my death bed
  And I wait for my demise
And still I laugh at the little worm
  'Cause he knows that he's gonna die.

The end is the beginning
and the scent still lingers
The wheels turn faster
distance becomes time away

Choose a new reality
revel in the madness
Open up your mind
to a sizzling sensuality

We can choose our criminal minds
as we dance naked under these stars
And think our cotton-filled thoughts
with the fear of primal knowledge

Now we come full circle
to the place of our birth
And the time away
adds to our newfound freedom

You ;  could  stay with me for a little while-
We  would  share and care; for a time.
Glance an occasional smile,
Get to  know one another; sip a little wine.

Let  our  thoughts  mingle, with unspoken word-
While the world around us,  is silent; can not be heard.
Alone  together ;   if  you  agree-
Let  your  mind drift,  flowing  to  me.

If  this  moment  were  real; as  I  wish  it  may,
I  would  savor  this  time; till  my  dying  day..
But ; it's  only  a  dream, there can  be  no  you.
Just  as  these glasses I  fill  for  two.

They  will  be  drank  by  one-
For ;   I  realize,   there  is  no  you..
 
 

It has been said ; first you  must live, then you must die -
You spend your lifetime, to acquire  a  heavenly place .
Mine  is  here and now , whenever you sigh -
It places me there , each time  I see your face .

You have been ; and will always be  paradise to me .

I have not a need , nor a want  for more -
I have  all  that heaven  is said  to be -
I have you , my paradise  forever more .

You  my darling  have entered  my heart  with loving eyes -
Only you  could ever be  my heaven , my paradise.

They bought me when I was so young,
A pup, so soft and small
They played with me, and loved me so,
Until I grew up tall.

I chewed the rug, and bit their shoes,
That I thought they didn't need,
Then the walks stopped, with the praise,
And my wants, they didn't heed.

They said they had no time for me,
And I was just a thing,
They said I was so ugly,
Unlike the birds, I couldn't sing.

But can I help if this is what I am,
I can't stay dainty as you want me to!
I do grow up with time,
Just like the way you do!

Then the gave me to a shelter,
Cold were the nights that passed,
But I never knew what I did do wrong,
And why love never lasts.

Why won't they tell me?
So I can change my ways,
Why won't they give me one more chance,
I do need a home to stay.

I hear the man say I have only one day left,
Does that mean they have come back for me?
To take me home, the one before,
The place in my heart that I long to see.

You said the Earth was a beauteous place,
Coloured of rainbows, scented of grass,
But all I see is a wounded race,
As desolate seconds now begins to pass.

You created a world that was made for all,
Wondrous and pretty, soft in view,
But as I speak tiredly, it begins to crumble fall,
Dead as the past, in windy view.

You dictated peace as my ancestors were born,
But as I opened my eyes in the sun's bright light,
My well being was pierced by a cruel sharp thorn,
As I slept cold and miserable, frightened at night.

You wrote my death in a lifeless book,
But I did no wrong to deserve that fate,
I speak the truth, why don't you look,
And see a creation, glittering in hate.

If love fades by bitter distance,
Then I pledge this Quixotic heart
 To make tears my ordination
 To make sleep my sepulcher
 To await resurrection as in days of yore.
If the fullness of my heart is unrequited,
Then let the banner of my heartbreak
 Be the emblem of my heraldry;
 To win your affections flight,
 There be no greater quest for this woeful knight.

Our lost laughter and assignations,
Like spears pierce love indignantly,
 Shred my mantel of fortitude
 Leaves armor vacant, hollow,
 With mists my form fades and follows,
And all that I might someday be
 Is fevered thought, delusion;
 Stories that might have been told
 If we’d been blessed to grow together old.

I love you with this vulture torn heart
Disemboweled, ripped from your nurturance
 Sans hands that know to touch
 Sans mind to think, ears to hear
 Sans eyes to blink back blind love’s tears.
I have always loved you lonesomely,
Lived on naked bones of hope,
 Form that melts away in my touch,
 Joy that slips like sands of time away,
 While fantasies of you measure night and day.

Why is the night so solitude, forlorn?
Because it remembers those moments:
 Cover of the tucked and frightened day,
 Mistress that strokes the wetted cheek,
 Place of succor for the broken, weary, weak.
So easily we hide from our own hearts
When daylight demands soulless industry,
 But night is naked to the truth.
 Night, it is effortless to love.
 Night reveals to us what we are thinking of.

I would give my whole life to nights with you.
Let vile ambitions be the slaves to love,
 Forsake earth for your heaven
 Break every bond but again to make
 A respite for us from our shared heartache..
Oh love grant me a boon to live upon.
Smile once more to me with sparkled eyes
 Sigh with me again our love’s sighs
 Remember me, oh love, upon your flesh
 And with you wetted lips , once more, our vows refresh.

The rolling drama of the white wet veil
Transfixed image of movement out of time
Portrays the poised desire where pure passion sails

Then river carries down in  turquoise eddied tide
Wandering Dervishes midst crashing whirlpools waltzing
The heart upon a secret mystery into an unseen ride.
 

Dreaming of your face
I gaze towards the heavens
but I don't see you there
and my dreams turn into nightmares

Wanting your tender kisses
My lips ache to feel your touch
but they feel only emptiness
and will always only feel such

For you are never near me
when I need you to be there
I need you to come closer
to chase away this deep despair

To see your face with my pale eyes
would drain the darkness from my skies

To smell the savour of your skin
would wake my soul, new life begin

To feel the pulsing of your heart
would end the pain of our being apart

And to have you right here with your arms around me
would relinquish the lonely dark clouds that I see

I want you, I need you, I love you so dear
that your essence I feel and your presence is near

You just know,
when you walk in its stride
follow its muse,

it's in the learning
in not knowing
a perception and confusing.

Ready or not
the caterpillar mower
taking off,  not

a statement of this
magnitude
in what is really coming down.

In cutout wheat designs
the concentric not geometric
of architectural intelligence.

The right hemisphere were still
plowing with ox and mules
to get it going.

Have we got it yet
infinity
has left a beginning.

Cookie cutter realities  being tested.

So it begins the puzzle reigns
until we submit
to the wonders of the interstellar,
papyrus reef design
the doors we know of
will not be necessary in welcoming.

A pain takes a sharp knife
In its hand
And pierces me
Just at the bottom of my eyes.

And tiny tears flow,
Drip by drip.
But, they never show outside;
Instead, they flow inside

They flow,
Somewhere,
Into a strange place
Inside of me -
My heart.

Drop by drop,
They fill an empty space
Inside my heart.